Suffocating Love
Self-Protection and Psychological Recovery in the Face of Abusive Partners
When it comes to abusive relationships, prevention is the best protection. One of the most effective ways to avoid falling into a toxic dynamic is by making conscious, healthy choices in choosing a life partner from the very beginning.
However, for those already caught in such situations, it is critical to seek professional support from trusted organizations or crisis centers, and most importantly, to stand firm in your decision to break free. With courage, resilience, and the right help, healing is possible—and survivors can reclaim their safety, dignity, and future.
Steps Toward Self-Protection
If you are in a relationship with an abusive partner—
if you feel threatened, controlled, or have suffered physical or emotional harm—
this is a serious issue, and you need to take action to protect yourself.
Your safety is the top priority.
Recognizing the signs of abuse is the first step toward breaking free.
You are not alone, and help is available.
Emotional Healing After Abuse
Being in a relationship with an abusive partner can leave deep and lasting effects on your mental and emotional well-being.
The trauma caused by such experiences can linger long after the relationship ends. That’s why psychological recovery is a critical part of the healing process.
Taking the time to understand, process, and care for your emotional wounds is not only important—it’s essential to truly reclaiming your life and moving forward with strength.
If You Are in Immediate Danger
Please Take the Following Emergency Steps:
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Dial 110 to report a crime
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Dial 113 to report to the Domestic Violence Prevention Center
How to Protect Yourself from an Abusive Partner
If your partner threatens, controls, or harms you physically or emotionally, this is serious—you need to take steps to protect yourself.
Here are some essential self-protection tips:
Cut off all contact with him.
If your abusive partner is an ex, avoid further interaction. Stop answering calls, texts, emails, or social media messages. Block them and keep your distance. Do not share personal information like your address, phone number, or workplace. Staying away is a crucial step in protecting yourself.
Seek legal protection.
If your abuser has threatened or harmed you, contact legal authorities immediately. You can apply for a restraining order to legally require them to stay away and stop the threats. This is a critical step if you feel your safety is at risk.
Change up your daily routine.
If you think your abuser may be watching or waiting for you, avoid familiar places and take different routes. Let trusted friends or family know where you are. Avoid sharing your location or activities on social media—protect your privacy to prevent being tracked.
Report through the Social Safety Net (Taiwan MOHW).
Since April 2016, the Ministry of Health and Welfare’s online platform “Care Together” has included a reporting form for intimate partner violence involving non-cohabiting adults over 18. This expands protection to cover a broader range of relationship types.
Contact the police immediately.
If you feel you’re in danger, report it to local authorities right away. Share details about the abuser and any threats made. Police can monitor the situation, provide protection, and take steps to ensure your safety.
Gather evidence and stay silent.
If you’ve been abused or threatened, keep records—save texts, emails, voicemails, and take photos or videos of any damage or injuries. Avoid arguing or confronting the abuser, as it may escalate their behavior and put you at greater risk.
Need help?
Submit a case through the Care Together platform, part of Taiwan’s Social Safety Net.
Emotional Recovery from an Abusive Relationship
Experiencing a relationship with an abusive partner can have serious and lasting effects on your mental and emotional well-being.
Facing the trauma left behind takes time—and emotional healing is a vital part of recovery.
Here are several helpful strategies to support you as you begin to move forward and rebuild your life:
Find a place where you feel safe and comfortable, such as a friend's home, a shelter, or a counseling center that provides support. This will allow you to temporarily escape the fear and stress of your phobic lover, giving you a chance to calm down and think about your next steps.
Find a safe environment
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Find a place where you feel safe and comfortable, such as a friend's home, a shelter, or a counseling center that provides support. This will allow you to temporarily escape the fear and stress of your phobic lover, giving you a chance to calm down and think about your next steps.
If your abusive partner is an ex, cut off all communication—don’t respond to calls, texts, emails, or social media messages. Block or mute them and avoid any face-to-face contact or shared gatherings. Maintaining distance is key to protecting yourself. Do not share personal information such as your address, phone number, or workplace.
Communicate your feelings and experiences with trusted family and friends, let them understand the difficulties you have experienced, and accept their support and encouragement. They can give you emotional support and advice to help you regain your confidence and courage. In addition, joining social activities or participating in community activities such as volunteer activities can help you expand your social network, establish new interpersonal relationships, increase your social support, and thus reduce loneliness and loss.
Rebuild your social support network.
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Find a place where you feel safe and comfortable, such as a friend's home, a shelter, or a counseling center that provides support. This will allow you to temporarily escape the fear and stress of your phobic lover, giving you a chance to calm down and think about your next steps.
Talk to trusted family and friends about what you’ve been through—share your feelings and experiences. Let them offer emotional support and encouragement to help you regain confidence and strength. You can also join social or community activities, such as volunteering or group events, to meet new people and expand your support system. Staying connected can reduce feelings of isolation and help restore your sense of belonging.
Seeking help from a psychologist, social worker, or domestic violence specialist can provide the support and guidance you need to help you cope with the stress and trauma you are experiencing.
Seek professional support
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Find a place where you feel safe and comfortable, such as a friend's home, a shelter, or a counseling center that provides support. This will allow you to temporarily escape the fear and stress of your phobic lover, giving you a chance to calm down and think about your next steps.
Seek support from a psychologist, social worker, or domestic violence specialist. These professionals can offer the guidance and care you need to cope with the stress and trauma you’ve experienced, helping you take meaningful steps toward recovery.
To maintain good health and emotional stability, take good care of yourself, including diet, exercise, rest, and sleep quality. In addition, try to develop some skills to relieve stress and relieve anxiety and depression, such as meditation, yoga, etc. Focus on your physical and mental health, and cultivate a regular lifestyle to help you maintain a positive attitude towards life, and enhance your self-confidence and courage to face trauma.
Self-care and Self-compassion
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Find a place where you feel safe and comfortable, such as a friend's home, a shelter, or a counseling center that provides support. This will allow you to temporarily escape the fear and stress of your phobic lover, giving you a chance to calm down and think about your next steps.
Take care of yourself through balanced nutrition, regular exercise, rest, and quality sleep. Engage in stress-relieving activities like meditation, yoga, or deep breathing. Prioritizing your health and building a steady routine can help you maintain a positive mindset, regain confidence, and grow stronger through healing. Remember—healing takes time. Be kind and patient with yourself. Let yourself feel, rest, and recover without guilt. Self-love isn’t selfish—it’s the foundation of your strength, identity, and inner peace.
Seeking psychotherapy is an important way to restore your self-confidence and repair emotional trauma. Psychotherapy can help you learn to cope with and control your emotions, rebuild your identity and values, and change your perspective on the past, thereby helping you release and heal from the damage caused by a terrifying lover.
Consider professional therapy
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Find a place where you feel safe and comfortable, such as a friend's home, a shelter, or a counseling center that provides support. This will allow you to temporarily escape the fear and stress of your phobic lover, giving you a chance to calm down and think about your next steps.
Therapy is a powerful tool for rebuilding self-esteem and healing emotional wounds. It can help you manage emotions, regain a sense of identity and self-worth, and reshape how you view the past—ultimately guiding you toward freedom and recovery from the damage caused by an abusive partner.
The best way to break up with a scary lover is to distance yourself from him/her gradually. You can even dress yourself up in a slovenly way to make him/her feel that he/she is not worthy of him/her, rather than you dumping him/her. To him/her, it is a feeling of being abandoned, rejected, and used. In addition, you should never use words to humiliate him/her, or deliberately flirt with other people in front of the scary lover, as these words can easily anger him/her.
Distance over conflict
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Find a place where you feel safe and comfortable, such as a friend's home, a shelter, or a counseling center that provides support. This will allow you to temporarily escape the fear and stress of your phobic lover, giving you a chance to calm down and think about your next steps.
When breaking up with an abusive partner, the safest approach is often to create distance gradually. Some survivors even choose to intentionally appear disinterested or unappealing, so the abuser feels they are the one being let go—rather than being rejected outright. This helps reduce the risk of triggering feelings of abandonment, rejection, or betrayal, which can be dangerous in controlling individuals. Avoid using insulting language or flirting with others in front of them, as such actions can easily escalate their anger and increase the risk of retaliation.
Every day, practice taking care of yourself.
When we take responsibility for our own well-being, we can truly let go—and become who we are meant to be.
You are the person who most deserves your care and love.
Practice setting boundaries:
Love with space. Let go of what you cannot control.
— Melody Beattie
Each day is a practice in letting go:
When we learn to love ourselves,
We become ready—to give love, and to receive it.
